Monday, 7 March 2011

Do Insomniacs Dream of Sleeping Sleep?

in·som·ni·a

[in-som-nee-uh]
–noun
inability to obtain sufficient sleep, especially when chronic; difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness.

I have never seen myself as an insomniac, however over the last 8 years I definitely have suffered from the above mentioned symptoms. It comes and goes. Sometimes I sleep like a baby for months and BAM! Next thing you know I hardly get any sleep for weeks.

So here I am again...  it's 4 in the morning and I have not been able to fall asleep at all. It's not all bad you know, I get a lot done actually. I fly through books that would usually take me weeks to finish, I get a lot of writing done and I even get to do some extra housekeeping and DIY (There's something magical about midnight cupboard fixing).

But alas, as much fun as it is organising my iTunes library in the middle of the night, I do miss my sleep. Now I am a moody and difficult man at the best of times... take away my sleep and the moods go all over the place. Not as bad as it used to be, but I still have my arsehole moments.

As I type this I can already hear the birds chirping outside... not a good sign...
Pretty though and quite peaceful actually...

And the really ironic thing is, my left leg just fell asleep... stupid leg... not a team player it would seem...

I guess there is no real point to this post, more of a time killer as i wait for the sun to rise... 

Anyways, have a good Tuesday... I know I will :)



I Do Believe That Stapler is Mine!

It was not until the following day that she realized she was dead. It came as quite a shock to her. One would think that she would've noticed or that her friends and co-workers would've mentioned it, but they didn't. Everyone just allowed her to continue living when she was very clearly dead. Quite rude if you think about it.

She went to work as always at 8:15, avoided the creepy sandwich guy Jeff at 12:45, caught up with the latest office rumors (Sandy is such a bitch!) at 13:23, she even returned the stapler she stole from accounting at 15:08. Not even a thank you from those boring old farts.

The day went by as per usual... she left work at 16:47, bought her usual strawberry and banana smoothie at that health shop on the corner at 17:12 and went home to watch which book Oprah has deemed soppy and sad enough for her book club at 17:31. At 22:42 she switched off her bedside lamp and went to sleep quite oblivious to the fact that she had been dead for 20 hours, 40 minutes and 17 seconds...

How could she not realize she was dead? Can't really say, but at least she realized eventually...

Sunday, 6 March 2011

The Fantastic World of N & EM

As Nathan sat down, he looked out over the playground. As king it was his responsibility to look after his people. He felt a great pride as he sat perched on top of the jungle gym, yet today there was something not quite right. Amongst the laughter and cheerful screams from the kids playing tag around the slides, Nathan felt a certain sadness creep into his heart. He could feel the tears starting to well up, but as king he had to stay strong, be a leader. He forced back the tears and looked to the heavens. He always knew this day would come, this day of sadness and loss.  

With his lunchbox carefully placed on his lap, he takes out the juice box his mom always packs for him, apple, his favorite. He shyly looks over to his queen and offers her his juice box. She looks at him, eyes filled with tears, then at the juice box and smiles.  

The beautiful and fair Queen Emma. She has been by his side for over a year now. Together they ruled the playground, always being there for each other in their brightest and darkest moments. Although she was a whole year older than Nathan, they were inseparable. They shared breakfast together, slept next to each other during nap time, and even shared their toys during play time. Nathan even went to war for Emma when the barbarian Julian “booger face” Jones stole her play dough. They were truly meant to be together forever. But as Nathan discovered, forever ends at the age of 6. 

Emma reached over and took the juice box from him. She knew how much he loved apple, and it broke her heart. Today would be the last day she would spend with her king, her friend, overlooking the playground, laughing, shouting… having fun. Tomorrow shell be alone, he’ll be alone. She stares off into the distance as she takes the first sip. 

Nathan tries not to look at his queen. He can’t face her. Not now. How can she do this to him? How can she leave him alone, alone to rule the playground? For a split second he feels anger rising up in his heart, but it’s soon replaced by sadness again. Today will be the last day he spends with his queen, his friend. Tomorrow he’ll be alone, she’ll be alone. 

Both of them stare off into the distance. Both avoiding the inevitable. Both too afraid to look at each other. The other kids seem to be oblivious to the somber mood surrounding the jungle gym. They have no idea how things are about to change, ignorance is bliss.  

As the sun starts setting, Emma looks over at Nathan. Tears now flowing freely, she takes his hand and squeezes tightly. Their end is drawing near. Home time is fast approaching and there is still so much left to say, but she doesn’t know how to. He looks at her, eyes filled with tears but refusing to cry, and smiles. They stare at each other for what seems like an eternity. Neither one knowing what to say. The screams and laughter of the other children softly fade away. In complete silence King Nathan and Queen Emma share their misery alone.  

In the distance a faint voice intrudes their solemn silence. This is it. This is the moment the royal couple have been dreading since the day Emma told Nathan she would be leaving for big school. This is where everything they knew comes to an end. The voice now much clearer, is calling for Emma. Her dad is here to take her away and there is nothing Nathan can do. He feels her grip on his hand loosening. He closes his eyes, the tears now running freely.  

Emma knows she has to go; the voice has called a third time. She looks at her king, her friend, crying. She feels so helpless. She moves in right next to him and puts her arms around him. Nathan opens his eyes as she pulls away. They stare at each other in silence for one last time.  

As Emma is led out the front door by her dad, she turns to look at her king one last time. A forlorn figure, enveloped by the sound of children laughing, stares back at her. 

Tomorrow he’ll be alone, tomorrow she’ll be alone.

Friday, 4 March 2011

Insanity is for the Sane

Lying on my couch, headphones equipped, listening to the new Mogwai album "Hardcore will never die, but you will" I started thinking about life and death and being hardcore. Don't know why my mind went that way, but I guess the universe works in mysterious ways.
 
So there I was, wrestling with the greatest and most complex question ever... Am I hardcore? And if so, will I live forever? Sure, it would be awesome being an immortal ala Highlander (bad scottish accent included) and it would be cool to see the eventual fall of Apple computers in 2117 (let's hope I'm wrong and it's next week sometime) but it would also be a sad and lonely existence... 
 
And because I started to feel sad and lonely when thinking about it, I came to the conclusion that clearly I am not hardcore... Hardcore people don't feel sad and lonely, they feel... well... I don't know what Hardcore people feel... 
 
So now 100% certain that I am not hardcore and that I will die, I relaxed, closed my eyes and smiled...
 
And yes, I am Lionel Ritchie... 

Thursday, 3 March 2011

The First, the Last and Possibly the Second...Maybe?

So this is it, the very first posting on a blog no-one will read, or should read. Why am I writing this then you may ask, my imaginary reader... well I don't really know why.

Could it be that I'm completely and utterly blocked creatively at work? Quite possible... or did I have some incredible vision in the shower this morning and this is my way of sharing the vision with you? Wrong again!

Only thing I was thinking of in the bath (yes, my flat does not even have a shower) was if I should have toast for breakfast or pop out to the french bakery down the road, nothing revolutionary, nothing life changing.

So now I've established that there is actually no point to my ramblings, no grand revelations, no visionary solution to end world hunger. So what is the point then?

There is no point my dear imaginary reader... but isn't that the point of a blog then?

And on that valid and completely pointless...uhm... point, I am off... till the next creative block then, my imaginary reader!




(oh, i went to the French bakery for those interested, had a croissant, was brilliant)